So unsure of my next step.
Thought I met somebody with potential, but I was wrong. And he hasn’t called or texted.
Getting back out there is comical. A 27 year old reached out. He messaged me with a joke. I’m sure most asked for the punchline, but I messaged back, “I can already tell you’re not funny.”
“That’s not what my yearbook says,” he replied.
Ok, so he’s a little funny.
Why am I messaging with a 27 year old? Ugh!
Then an age appropriate man messaged, “Let’s talk.” Much better. Seemed alpha and I like that.
I noticed he was from another state so I deleted his message without responding. Within minutes, I received another message from him, “I’m still trying.”
Maybe if he was closer…
Moral of this story: MEN ARE AWESOME! Older, younger, I just like them…
But I want to find the one. Just one. The one I can laugh with, cuddle with, be safe with, and love for the rest of my life.
I’ve been dating. Mainly coffee meetings, calls and texts.
I’m fine with that for now.
I’m not really sure what I want and until I figure that out, is there really a point in any of this?
Maybe it all comes down to distraction…
Maybe I want a man to keep me from my dreams and goals.
Maybe I’ve lost sight of what I want, my career, MY future.
Maybe I’ve lost sight of how amazing I am.
Maybe I want a man to think I’m amazing… but how can he, if I don’t think I’m amazing?
Loved the getaway!
A work friend was hoping to have a fling (or maybe more) with me.
We had dinner together. Tempting… Single. Muscular. Attractive. Intriguing. Very intriguing… but still, no.
I’m trying to keep my life simple. I don’t want drama and I don’t want to mix my personal life with work. I love my work. I don’t ever want to feel uncomfortable at work. We will remain friends and co-workers.
Since returning from my trip, I have focused on my home and to-do list. I’m in a great place right now. I’m caught up! Yay!
But with that comes… boredom, loneliness…
So, I’m back online.
Lucky for me, I like my alone time. There’s been a lot of it.
At times I’m not sure what to do with myself… Should I watch TV? Get back on Match? Rearrange my living room? Call an ex? Try to find my brother? Hang out with a friend? Take a nap? Go for a workout? Run? (I don’t run, but I’d like to try.) Do some online shopping? The list goes on…
Instead, I journal and listen to music.
As much as I want love, there is no point in me trying to find him right now. It wouldn’t work. I’m a mess. I wouldn’t be able to connect, because I’m so disconnected from myself.
I’m on my way out of town for work. I’m hoping the change of scene will be good for me.
I won’t have time to think about lost love… future love…